Monday, November 27, 2006

Be Careful What You Ask For - Still Day 1

When my wife answered the phone I asked her where she was and what she was wearing. She had been at the computer for the last few hours looking at my collection of xxx photos and video clips. An earlier text message to me telling me "You'd be pleased, my pussy is wet. You could slide in easily" and other messages about what she was seeing on the screen and how she liked particular activities had gotten me hard. It had been 2.5 hours since she had texted me saying that she was online reading what a Hotwife was from a saved bookmark of mine on the computer and

She had been looking at all the hot, nasty photos I had stored on the computer, watched sexy videos and her pussy was slippery and wet. She had texted that she wanted to cum for me after she got the kids to sleep and when she answered the phone, she was ready. She was wearing just a short nightie, sitting in the chair with her legs spread "as wide as can be", with that small black dildo inside her pussy as she looked at my hot videos and pics. She loves to be stretched and filled with large objects so I told her to get our thick flesh-colored dildo - it measures about 7" and about 5"-6" around - and put it in her pussy. I listened as she told me how she was placing it on the chair and impaling herself on our thick substitute cock. When she was stuffed full, I told her I wanted her to push down to get the dildo deep into her pussy. I had her grind and press her ass and pussy down into the chair to force it in and around her slippery hole. She started to touch and play with her clit as we talked and she came with a nice grunt and groan. Surprisingly for me though, instead of being finished, she immediately went back to touching her clit and brought herself to a second orgasm. Surprisingly I say, because she is generally not multi-orgasmic in this way. The vision of her being so aroused that she would immediately want to make herself cum again had me so turned on. Unfortunately, I had to get back upstairs to work.

It had been exactly one week since we had our latest State-of-the-Union talk. I once again detailed my frustration with how often we had sex and the lack of progress we were making in having others join us in bed. I had always wanted to see her with another man since before we married, which she knew about. But while she could get extremely aroused by the thought or fantasy of it as I detailed it to her during my dirty talk as we fucked, she could never commit to taking the final step to making it a reality for us. Still in love with her, wanting to continue to be married and wanting to make forward progress, I suggested we commit to 1-2 days per month where we would go out for specifically sex-related fun. I made a list of things I wanted us to experience together, from rather tame things like xxx movie night or xxx story reading/masturbation night to more edgier experiences like having her fucked by a very well hung athletic black man/men or going into a bar separately with me watching as men try to pick her up and fuck her. Sex during the week was very passionate and lusty - I don't think we missed a day. Then came the next Saturday...

It was morning and we were lounging in bed, touching each other as we talked about our renewed commitment to each other, our sex life and to her being shared. I was talking dirty to her as we were playing, mentioning a local woman who had contacted us a few months back who was bisexual and looking for a female lover to play with during the daytime hours. In the heat of the moment, I told my wife that she had a very tight pussy and that the reason I knew was that I had fucked this woman.......everything came to a grinding halt and I immediately regretted having said those words to my wife. What ensued was a number of emotional admissions and confessions from each of us. For my part, I admitted to having slept with 10-15 women during the course of our 20-year relationship, which includes the dating time prior to being married. Purely sexual, none of them containing the smallest bit of emotional attachment. She was unhappy about this. Unhappy despite my reminder that she had green-lighted me on being able to pursue outside partners many years ago. Despite her recollection of this, she simply didn't think I would sleep with any other women. And I, frankly, would have bet the farm that the same held true for her - that she had never slept with another man during our marriage. I was wrong...

I asked her if she had ever slept with another man or had an affair, confident of what her answer would be. When she answered "Yes", I remember smiling inwardly as I told myself that her reply was a reflex answer, defensively spoken to counter my admission to make me feel badly, but untrue nonetheless. When she spoke his name, I knew I was mistaken.

She told me it was 13-years ago during a time when she says we were having troubles. She admitted that the affair had lasted six months. Her lover was a co-worker, her boss if I recall correctly. I had met him a number of times and even been to his home for a party. He was an attractive man...and married. She told me how it all started one afternoon when she went out for drinks with some of her co-workers and after everyone left except for he and my wife, he leaned forward and kissed her...she told me that she responded, kissing him back. She didn't fuck him that afternoon, but she knew that it only a matter of time. Her affair was consummated one afternoon while I was at work, 10 miles away, when he gave her a ride home and she invited him up to our home. That afternoon, another man fucked my wife in my very bed. She told me that she knew when she invited him up the stairs that day, that she would soon be spread wide on our bed with him fucking her. Sometimes they went to his house and sometimes to ours. He liked eating her pussy, fucking her in numerous positions, and she liked sucking his cock. Her lover came in her mouth and she swallowed his cum. He always fucked her bareback, but as she tells me, he always pulled out when he came, shooting his cum all over her ass, stomach, pussy or breasts.

It is very difficult for me to begin to describe the feelings that her admission stirred up in me. Difficult for me because her affair was not simply sexual, but an affair of the heart - one that included emotions between him and her. Sex I could deal with....or deal with easier. Emotional attachment or feelings, NO. Difficult because, although I was initially turned on by the idea that my conservative wife would do something so uncharacteristic, so taboo (or so I thought), it was still emotional betrayal in the end. Difficult because I knew who her lover was and I could visualize very well the two of them sneaking to our home, and him giving her the deep, hard, pounding with his cock that I know she enjoys - I could hear all of the sounds she makes when we fuck...the panting, the gasping, grunting, the few dirty words she would utter in the heat of passion, urging him to fuck her harder, the familiar sound of our bed springs creaking and the banging headboard, increasing in tempo as he fucked her faster and harder. The most vivid images are my wifes facial expressions - the look of pleasure she would have, the lustful glazed over eyes she gets, that sexually desperate look she gets when she's intensely aroused...the look of craving. All this I can see crystal clear in my mind...All at the hands, fingers, tongue, body and cock of another man.

My wife wasn't done. She followed with another admission. This time just 6-years ago she says, with her old high school boyfriend, her first lover. This indiscretion also started in a bar over drinks with friends. It ended up in the back seat of a car, I'm not sure if it was our car or his, with my wife and him crawling into the back seat where they fooled around, my wife taking out his cock and jacking him off as they kissed and he felt her up. She told me she didn't suck his cock, or fuck him there in the backseat, but she says she did cum herself sliding and rubbing her pussy against his leg. Again, she said this happened at a time when she says we were having problems, although I don't have any specific recollection about them. I asked her how far this went with her old boyfriend and was told that beyond emailing back and forth with him erotic/sexy emails for a month or so, she never followed through with another illicit meeting, backseat of a car or elsewhere. She didn't remember specifics of her emails, other than recalling telling him that she was 'wet' in one email. I hadn't yet met her old boyfriend, but I recall that I soon would, as I accompanied my wife to a high school reunion soon thereafter.

I'm bothered by this, on both accounts. Bothered that here were two men whom I knew, albeit only casually in the case of her boss/lover and in the case of her ex boyfriend, whom I would be introduced to within months of her indiscretion - both of whom had carnal knowledge of my wife, yet would look me in the eye, shake my hand and smile at me as if nothing were amiss. All with my wife's silent complicity as she introduced me or stood next to me and her boss as we chatted. To be played the fool in both instances. This is what hurts.

My feelings of betrayal and hurt coalesced over the next 24-hours since I had to leave for work within an hour or so of her revalations of infidelity. Immediately after her admissions, however, I recall laying next to her asking her for all the details of her affairs - how he liked to fuck, whether or not she sucked his cock (never one of her favorite activities with us), whether he came in her mouth, whether she let him cum inside her pussy, if her liked to suck her pussy, whether she let him fuck her in the ass, how he liked to fuck, what positions, whether or not he talked dirty to her, etc... I was aroused beyond belief, hard and wanting her to describe to me how he used her pussy, breasts, mouth and wanting to know how it felt for her to be with a man other than me, her husband.
I was intensely aroused by the thought of my 'faithful' wife being unfaithful to was so taboo and so unexpected. I remember being unable to even think straight that entire first night when I went into work, my mind reeling with the mixed thoughts about my wife's cheating.

It is an odd combination of feelings to experience simultaneously - emotional betrayal - cheating - infidelity - humiliation - sadness - anger - fear - versus sexual arousal - curiosity - excitement. I am still sorting through them and it has been four days. The thoughts of her being fucked by another man in our bed - the images of her cumming loudly underneath the deep thrusting of another man's cock pop into my head daily and often, bringing that mix of conflicting emotions each time. Yesterday, I imagined meeting her boss/lover sometime again in the future and cold-cocking him as he reached out to shake my hand, dropping him to the ground then just walking away without saying a word. I suppose I am still hurting.

Would I be interested in ever seeing either of her lovers again or even proactively confronting them? Probably not. This was 13 and 6 years ago. I'll keep the cold-cocking option open though for her boss.

As a little aside and to her credit, I suppose, my wife did tell me that she did tell her boss/lover that I was interested in watching her be fucked by another man, he declined her offer.

No comments: