The Devil's in the Details

30 January, Wednesday - Expressing my Concerns. We spent the day together, working out, having lunch, etc... A busy day without much talk or thought (besides my predawn fucking and sucking of her freshly waxed pussy) about my wife's pending and still tentative 'date' with G tomorrow. I had wanted to talk with her about rules and/or guidelines regarding her taking lovers and the first opportunity we had to do so was this evening just 25 minutes before I had to leave for work. Not much time and still unfinished, but I expressed a few of my thoughts and concerns:

- I reiterated the need for emotional detachment on her part, or the extreme importance of emotional non-attachment. How she was not to turn G into her confidant, shoulder-to-cry-on, or someone that she shares her/our problems with. She fully understood and agreed about the potential danger and risk of doing this.

- I reminded her that she was to remain in control of their 'relationship'. She was to be the one to set the tone for their 'dates' - the who, what, where, when. G becoming her lover was to be on her (or more loosely, our) terms. Specifically, for tomorrow she should let him know the time frame she would be available to him and to essentially let him know that she had other commitments, like a planned lunch date we have tomorrow.

- I told her that she needed to make certain that G would be discreet. Although he is also married, I expressed my concern of the possibility that he would 'talk' or be indiscreet with friends of his who are also friends of ours...specifically male friends. I recommended that she nail this one down right from the start - that if she couldn't get his iron-clad assurance of discretion, that the relationship as lovers would be a non-starter - that it would not be worth it for us. The community that we live in and our circle of friends and acquaintances is/are too small to put our reputations at risk. As I've mentioned here before, we've talked of playing outside of our community or with strangers to blunt any possibly embarrassing situations, but my wife has always felt more comfortable being sexual with friends or acquaintances.

I mentioned to my wife that those same qualities that attracted her to G - an extroverted personality, a quick-wit, a very 'male' guys-guy demeanor and macho exterior - are the same qualities that give [me] cause for concern about the possibility of him being indiscreet and bragging or talking about having bedded her. She agreed. Obviously, neither she nor I want her to be known for sleeping around. She already feels that there are some people, some women in our circle, who believe that she has some form of 'intimate' relationship with B already, probably due to the simple fact that my wife and B spend more than the usual amount of time together or on the phone due to the organization we all belong to. I assured her that there was nothing she could do to effectively change their minds if, indeed, they believed that, so don't worry about them.

My wife told me that she never had thought about the possibility of G talking and seemed genuinely concerned now, as well. She admitted that maybe she was being naive but asked me why I had never brought this topic up before with her. I confessed that, frankly, I hadn't expected her to get this far with G so suddenly (although she has wanted him since last spring or summer), and now that she was on the threshold of it actually sleeping with him, I needed to bring it up. She seemed a little distressed that she could have been directing her attentions to B all this time but said "I think there is still a possibility with B." (Of course there is, she had done nothing to close the door on B - she has just found G more attractive as a potential lover and had therefore directed more of her attention towards him).

I told her discretion is the reason that I have felt that B would be a more suitable lover for her. He is older than G, more mature, more life-experienced and possibly has more at stake, making discretion more assured as a result. She responded that she didn't know that I felt that way, and why hadn't I told her my opinion about my preference in who she took as a lover. Honestly, I think she is right - I don't think I have ever verbalized it to her. I've known that she wants G more than B, and I remember her mentioning to me a while back something to the effect of that the shine was off B for some reason or another.

I told her I thought it would be less of a concern if we were inviting G to join us for a threesome, versus just having him fucking my wife solo as a married woman. She agreed and understood what I was saying, although I'm not quite sure how to clearly explain it here, but I think there's a different dynamic involved if we to play as a threesome with my wife being the center of attention. I believe it feels more friendly, more of an intimate friendship as opposed to it being a man fucking another man's wife. I offered the threesome with G as a choice for her as well, although in the past she has told me that she did not think her lovers would be interested in threesomes. Tonight she sounded a more open to broaching the subject with G, but I could have read her wrong.

Of course, again, I also offered her the option of playing with or finding 'strangers' or 'lifestyle' partners as alternative.

My 25 minutes was running out and I had to leave for work. We had not discussed everything I had wanted to - we'd have to continue this discussion. Other rules and thoughts we still need to discuss include: condom use (or lack thereof - aka: barebacking & being put on the pill, playing alone vs. playing together (or with me present), hosting at home vs. at her lovers home, never allowing disrespect of spouse(s), playing/'cheating'/hotwifing online -via email, IM, honesty and trust as an absolute, frequency of 'dates', approval of lovers/giving permission, allowing of video & photos, playing alone vs. together...

She said she was going to pull back from her 'date' tomorrow and suggest to G that they meet instead to talk - to discuss expectations, desires, logistics, etc... before actually becoming sexual.

"I'll Share My Wife with you..."

19 December, Wednesday - My First Offer to B. My wife and I were talking this afternoon when her phone rang. It was B on the line. I was seated right next to her. "Yes, I have my black dress and red lipstick ready...Let me ask my husband, he's right here next to me". I already knew what she was referring to as I whispered to her "Tell him I'll share you with him", but she missed it and gave him a more innocent affirmative answer. They were talking about going to an event I mentioned in a recent post. As my wife was finishing her conversation with him, I reached out for the phone - "My husband wants to talk to you". I got on the line and said to B, "I'll share my wife with you, you just have to return her to me in good condition and have her home by 4am". He laughed, somewhat nervously and said a few joking words to me. I'm sure he wasn't exactly sure what to make of everything...I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to be sitting right next to my wife as he told her to get out her little black dress and red lipstick, nor expecting me to get on the phone and offer my wife to him, even as light-heartedly as I did.

I asked my wife shortly afterwards how she felt about our little three-way exchange. She replied that she was apprehensive of what I might say to him - that I might go too far. "Did I?" I asked. "A little" was her reply. I thought back to what I had thought about saying to him at that moment but didn't - 'Did you want me to send her to you without bra and panties under that little black dress?'

We"ll see how B responds.

We also talked about a few other things. Like another ground rule (or maybe a guideline at this point). We discussed how it would be best for now, that her lovers be married versus single men, the thought being that it is important for everyone involved to have something 'at stake', for everyone to be on the same footing with respect to having the same level of discretion and having something to lose. I have concerns about this - this is delicate territory we're entering into, with numerous perils and potential threats to our marriage and relationship. I want to make sure that her lovers have something on the table as well. We want to avoid anyone who would be indiscreet - anyone who'd 'talk' or share details of the relationship with others. We also want someone who already has 'a life', someone whose sole interest would be my wife - we don't want someone to become a 'pest' or 'puppy dog' - that wouldn't work.

She expressed moral concerns about sleeping with other men - married men, but feels alright with it knowing that I approve and support her being sexual outside of our marriage.

She still has concerns that B and G are not interested in her and do not or would not have an interest in fucking her. I continue to assure her that they do, based on my observations of how they interact with her and how they flirt with each other. She has reasonable concerns about being rejected by them sexually should she really be as bold as I suggest to her - unfounded, in my opinion, but reasonable concerns. No one likes to be rejected. Again, I assured her that she just needs to step a little further out of her comfort zone with regards to flirting and putting herself out there with B and G and they can be hers...or she theirs.

My wife brought up a third man, also a friend of ours, whom she said she would be interested in and finds attractive. He is also a 'B', so we'll need to call him 'B2'. We've know B2 for a few years now, but she has gotten to know him better only in the last half year or so. She feels that he is attracted to her and they get along well. She says she has flirted with him a little and would not mind being sexual with him.

She is proud to tell me that she is flirting more than ever before, which I agree with and am also proud of.

A Lunch......Date?

17 December, Monday - Lunch with B. My wife was supposed to attend a meeting today along with B, one of her potential lovers. It was scheduled for 1pm. I would still be sleeping due to my work schedule. When I awoke at about 230pm , my wife was home. I asked her how her meeting had gone. She told me it had been canceled. She didn't immediately volunteer it, but told me she and B had gone to lunch instead. "B asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him" she said. She had my interest. I asked her how it went and what happened. It seemed innocent enough from what she told me.

She mentioned that he talked about his wife and how, according to my wife, their relationship did not seem like it was going too well and that he was possibly close to throwing in the towel. She told me that she mentioned to him something about me that, to me, while not outright derogatory, was non-flattering. I expressed my displeasure to her about this. As I expressed in a previous post, one of our concerns about her having lovers was the development of emotional attachments with them, leading to all kinds of potential problems. One of the ground rules we agreed to about her having lovers, was that she would not discuss our problems or other relationship issues we have with her lovers, since doing so creates special bonds that can undermine our relationship. As I said, what she shared with him wasn't really disparaging, but it wasn't something I cared to have her talking about. My wife seemed to understand what I was saying.

I asked my wife how she felt about being out alone with him. "Nervous" she said. "It seemed weird to be alone with him without my husband being there". "Were you excited by it?" I asked. She admitted that she did feel excited as well. She mentioned being concerned about how she looked [for him, presumably] and of course was concerned about having food in her teeth!

In conversation, she had mentioned to B that I was supportive of her going out with her friends and that I encouraged her to do so. I asked her if she took advantage of that line of conversation to let him know about me approving of her.... 'being out with other men' or something along those lines. She hadn't and mentioned the quick pace of the conversation as being part of the reason. I reminded her about being forward and taking advantage of opportunities to flirt boldly. As I've mentioned, I think the only thing standing between her and realizing either B or G as lovers, is their sense of decency and respect for the fact that we are married as well as friends and their lack of knowledge that I know and approve.

I probed, but he hadn't made any overt attempts at seducing, flirting or offering any 'opportunities' to my wife. I believe he is simply being cautious and moving slowly with my wife, gaging her responsiveness to him. He did offer to take our daughter with him to a local college sporting event with he and his daughter. He mentioned that he had one more adult ticket for the event to which my wife mentioned she could probably be available. We'll see if anything comes out of that.

I suggested to my wife that when she talks to him again, she should tell him 'I liked being out alone with you' and '...I'd like to do it again sometime with you'. She felt that it would be too bold for her to say to him. She suggested 'My husband wants to know where you're going to take me next time' I didn't really like it at the time, but now hours later, as I write this, it sounds OK to me.

I am contemplating giving B a call to see if I can stop by to talk to him briefly...and being fairly direct with him about my wife and him being together. The right time would be now, immediately after he's 'taken her out' to lunch. How and what things would be said would be very important. I have to think further about this.

Musings - A Smorgasbord of Thoughts

18 November, Sunday - Checking In. I haven't posted in a while. There hasn't been too much going on...sexually speaking. My wife was sick for a couple of weeks.

We went out Friday night to the City for dinner then stopped off for a quick nitecap at a local restaurant on our way home.

We laid in bed talking after we got home. My wife had gone out to dinner with her girlfriend earlier in the week. We hadn't really talked about it all week. 'D' is a good friend, who I've mentioned in this blog before. I asked my wife if she has shared anything sexual with any of her friends lately. I've always encouraged her to share her/our sex life with her close girlfriends and she has a couple of girlfriends who know quite a bit of our sex/fantasy life. She said she had talked to D over dinner, again, about her taking a lover and about me wanting to share her with others. D gave my wife some advice, encouragement and caveats. D has had lovers within her marriage, with her husband's knowledge and approval. My wife said she told D about B & G, our two male friends whom she is sexually attracted to and is interested in taking as lovers. She told D that she likes the idea of having a lover(s), but did not want me to be there watching her making love to them. I asked her if it was because she wanted to be able to be uninhibited, to be able to completely relax and 'cut loose' with him. She was a little uncertain, but said she thought so.

For me, there are a number of dynamics and nuances involved in all of this - 1) I am dominant and my wife is submissive to me. I enjoy taking control in bed, having my way with her, being a little rough and having her obedience in bed. She has expressed to me that she does NOT want to be submissive to others, but prefers that I be in control of them as well as her. (I suspect, however, that she would be at least somewhat submissive to B or G as lovers, because it is her nature); 2) I want to make her a "shared wife", which I define as a [submissive] wife who is given, loaned or shared sexually with others at her husband's discretion, direction or suggestion. this would include me selecting her sexy clothing for nights out together, her dancing with other men, her flirting with other men and women, showing her off, allowing her to be touched by others, and ultimately to be fucked by others, all in my presence; 3) I want my wife to be a "hotwife" - defined as a woman who fucks other men, within her marriage, with her husband's knowledge (and in my case, approval). I enjoy having a sexy wife, who turns heads, is flirtatious, and who other men and women find sexually desireable. Unlike many men with a hotwife, though, I am not into being emasculated by her, her lovers, or by her sexual relationships. I do not want to be humiliated, submissive or in anyway ridiculed. I once read somewhere, the term 'dominant cuckold' - maybe this is an appropriate term for me. I want a 'hotwife', but one who is submissive to me; 4) I'd like her to have a lover - someone she would be able to see on a regular basis.

This last item is probably the one that I have the most difficulty putting my finger on as far as defining my feelings and thoughts. It seems to be an amalgamation of the first three items. I have always wanted us to include others in our bed ever since we started dating. I have always loved the thought of watching her being fucked by other men (and women). We have talked of it endlessly over the past 22 years, and we have both enjoyed it as a fantasy, but it is only within the last year of so that we have been talking seriously about following through and taking action. Last winter, my wife and I both shared about our infidelities during our marriage - I told her about the various women I had slept with and she revealed to me an ongoing affair she had with a co-worker years back and an ex-boyfriend she had fooled around with one night while getting together with some old friends. I knew both of these guys, casually. Her affair had gone on for about six months, during which time she fucked her lover both at his house and in our home...in our bed. I was both hurt and turned on by what she had told me. At my request she told me the details - how it started, when they would fuck (while I was at work), how he liked to fuck her, how often they would fuck, what he liked to do to her, etc...He would fuck her bareback - without a condom.

As I said, it is difficult for me to explain to anyone who hasn't been in a similar position, the different and sometimes conflicting emotions of hurt and betrayal versus the feelings of arousal and excitement at the thought of her cheating with another man. I think the arousal stems from my opinion that it seemed so out of character for her to have fucked another man in our bed while I was not home...it seemed so naughty and taboo for her to do.

So, anyway, I'm not sure where those last three paragraphs got us, or what exactly they explained, but I am turned on by the thought of having a 'cheating wife' who fucks other men while I am away from home or who goes out to fuck other men while I am at home. Obviously, it wouldn't be 'cheating' in the truest sense of the word, since I would have full knowledge of her activities - I think it is best categorized as her being a HOTWIFE.

D told my wife that in order for her to seduce B or G or other any other men she'd like to sleep with, she would have to say while flirting something to the effect of: "my husband knows I...", "my husband approves of me...", or "my husband is OK with me..." This is the same thing I have been telling her to do for a long time now while flirting. Maybe now that both D and I have told her, she'll actually try it. D's husband had also told D that she needed to be the one pursuing the men she was interested in sexually, that she needed to let them know that she was receptive although she is a married woman. I have been telling my wife this as well - to let potential partners know that she is open to their advances and to also let them know that she has her husband's permission to play outside of her marriage.

I believe my wife also mentioned that D was also looking for a new lover, since her husband had a real dislike of her most recent lover.

We spoke a bit about my wife's friend, B, also, and I asked whether or not she thought B would play on the side or take a lover(s). She wasn't entirely sure, but thought it possible that she would. I told my wife to keep sharing about her own hotwife journey, telling her details of her affair(s) (once they start). According to my wife, B has been interested in hearing about her (our) experiences since my wife has shared with her about our plans, but that they just haven't spent much time together to talk. I told my wife that I thought it'd be hot if she and B seeked out lovers together. I find B attractive, sexy and would enjoy having her join my wife and me, sexually, either in threesomes, or just her with my wife, although I'm not even sure if B is bi or not. I'd even enjoy phone sex-play or online erotic play with her. I like having good friends that we can be sexually intimate with, not necessarily physically, although that would be ideal - flirting with each other, and sharing thoughts, fantasies, desires, etc... It takes a special set of friends, extraordinary chemistry, and relaxed personalities. It can be lots of fun with the right couples or individuals. (I wonder if B's husband is sexually attracted to my wife?) I recall my wife mentioning that she thought B was open-minded about sex with others, but most likely had concerns about being married.

We spoke a little about a few "ground rules" for my wife having a lover. One was not talking to her lovers about any problems within our marriage or using him as an emotional sounding board or support - how BIG problems can arise as a result, how unhealthy emotional connections can develop from her being intimate in this way with her lover. We also agreed that I had to agree upon any choice of lovers that she had made - we BOTH needed to be OK with the person. She had talked to D about this too and said that in D's case, it was very clear that her lovers were just her sexual partners and that her husband was her true and ultimate partner whom she loved and came home to.

We ended up fucking a short while later at about 2am, with her climbing on top of me. I'm much more verbal than she is in bed, so it is always a turn-on to hear her talking dirty, telling me to spread her ass and put my fingers inside her as she bounced up and down on my cock. She told me how she liked thinking of me inside her ass. At about 5am, we both awoke. This time, I used the small remote controlled vibrator on her pussy. We woke once again at 9am - my cock was as hard as a rock. I immediately climbed on top of my wife and slid right into her pussy, which was still very wet from our earlier fuckings. A very hard and deep fucking ensued. We rested a while then started watching some XXX movies on the laptop as we continued to lay in bed. I had chosen a number of black-on-white interracial movies, a genre that I really get off on (more so than she does). One day I want to see her being fucked by a very well hung black man. (She slept with a black friend of hers just as we were beginning to date many years ago, but hasn't been with another since). A Yahoo IM popped onto the screen as we were watching the movie. It was a woman I had played with online saying 'Hello'. She's submissive and bi and I've asked her to join my wife and I, since my wife and I have talked about finding another woman to 'service' her as I direct the action. I played a Rocco video on and my wife ended up cumming hard while watching girl-on-girl pussy eating.

It had been a pretty good 24 hours with us having fucked 4 times during that time! It's nice to have the time alone, with the kids! We weren't done though...

We went out Saturday night for drinks and dinner with D and her husband in the City. Got home Saturday night too tired for anything, but woke up Sunday in a randy mood. I got out one of our dildos, a very thick one and proceeded to stuff her pussy full of it, working it in and out of her. We talked about how much she loves being stuffed and stretched and about how much I love seeing her in this condition. I love seeing her lips clinging to whatever it is inside her, lover to see her pussy muscles stretched tightly.

I pushed the dildo in deeply, then mounted her and told her I was going to slide my cock into her pussy alongside the dildo. Her eyes opened wide as she felt m pressing forward against her already stretched pussy muscles. "Ohhhhhhhh!" she said as I slid fully into her wet pussy. It felt so tight, so snug as I fucked her - almost as tight as when I am inside her ass. I told her how one day she was going to feel two real cocks inside her pussy. I told her she'd be lying on her back on top of B with his cock inside her pussy; I'd then climb on top of her, mount her, sliding my cock in right next to his. She was turned on. While I fucked her, she said "Did I tell you what G said to me on Halloween?" She hadn't. "He asked what I was going to be for Halloween, a hot mama?" I don't recal how she told me she replied to him, but like most of us who think of our best comebacks AFTER the fact, she told me what she came up with (and wished she had said to him: "Not tonight, but I will be tomorrow. Are you busy tomorrow?"

Hearing her say those words turned me on as I continued sliding in and out of her slippery pussy. She was a little disappointed that hadn't thought of it in the moment and actually said it to G, but still I was impressed that she would come up with that type of reply even if it was never spoken. She has come a long way, making an effort, taking small, slightly unsteady steps in her flirting with B & G, but trying nonetheless. She has come to enjoy dressing sexily, not just for me, but also for the pleasure of others and for her own self-confidence and satisfaction. She has come to enjoy being looked at, looked over, checked out, and complimented about how good or sexy she looks. She enjoys exposing some skin, exposing some cleavage, and her sexy legs.

She isn't totally confident in herself regarding flaunting her sexuality and flirting but I can see it growing - her comfort level and enjoyment of the attention from men and women alike is apparent. She tells me whenever she receives a compliment about her body, or how sexy she looks. The fact that she is very open to taking a lover and talks openly without being dismissive, speaks a lot to how far she has come. I'm confident that she will be with another man in the not too distant future. i think she has warmed up nicely to the idea of making a regular lover out of a friend or acquaintance.

I asked her which she liked best: to be fucked, to be eaten, or to be played with. She replied that she does enjoy having her pussy eaten, but likes best being played with, having her pussy used - slapped, spanked, dildos and vibrators used filling her pussy and ass. She likes it when I do whatever I want with her, using her sexually as I see fit. This is her submissive side.

I asked whether she enjoyed vibrators or dildos better. "Dildos. Sometimes vibrators make my clit numb"

We talked about phone sex. I want her/us to talk with someone on the phone while I play with or fuck her. I suggested her girlfriend B. I told her one day I would start playing with her while she was on the line with B, and for her to start telling B what I was doing to her, how I'd just put my hand down her pants, or how I was touching her. She replied that I have an active imagination!

My wife said "I want to be sexy". She wants low cut tops. She wants to show her breasts more. She says she wants to look 'inviting'. She wants and likes to be looked at and looked over. I asked if anyone has been looking her over lately. She said she thought G had been a few days ago. I asked her if she did anything about it. "I hugged him for a long time." I told her next time she gives him an extended hug to tell him how good it feels and how much she likes it. I instructed her to do it in my presence and within earshot, so that G knows that I know and hear it too.

I told my wife the next time she goes grocery shopping , to buy another large cucumber. Something just as thick as the shampoo bottle, but tapered, so it will be able to slide inside her. She said she had seen the shampoo bottle in my nightstand and knew exactly what I was going to do with it. We talked about her getting a tattoo near her pussy with my name or initial - 'M's' it would say. I said the next time we back up to the City, I wanted to take her back to a couple of the leather stores. She still needs a collar, ankle cuffs, and hardware for me to make a spreader bar for her. I want her positioned like that, ass up high in the air, wrists and ankles cuffed and clipped to the spreader. I said I'd leave her like that on the bed while I left the house, ass up and secured to the spreader waiting for my return. Maybe I'd leave her tied spread eagle face down by herself with a vibrator in the vicinity of her pussy. If she wanted to pleasure herself, she'd have to twist, wiggle and squirm to make her pussy contact the vibrator, all without the use of her hands. She told me she wanted me to buy a four-poster bed, so I could tie her spread eagle to it, then use her however I wanted to.

I continued to fuck her as we talked, sliding my cock in and out next to the fat dildo.

I told her I wanted her to be fucked bareback by her lovers, for them to be able to cum inside her pussy. She like this too - the thought of another man besides her husband cumming inside her. It's naughty. Neither of us likes condoms and I don't wear them since I am vasectomy safe. We'd only allow B or G (closer 'known' friends who became her regular lovers) to bareback her. Anyone else would be required to wear a condom.

She said to me, "I wish you would just arrange for me to fuck G." I replied "You want me to just send him home to you, don't you? To deliver you to him?" "Yesssss." she said.

I told her I'd put her back on the pill when she took either B or G (or both) as regular lovers, so they'd be able to finish inside her whenever they fucked. My wife just tensed and started cumming when I said this. She looks so sexy when she cums...eyes glazed, full of lust.