Fits and Starts

24 October, Friday. Musings - G did not come over to the house yesterday. My wife had texted him early in the morning but he did not reply or come by.

Wife 10/23 10:08: He has not replied. Told him I was not busy.

We argued a little via text about it. I (as I usually do) wanted her to be more bold, more forward and direct with G about what she wants and when she wants it. She wants him to take the lead, the initiative. She does not want to appear to be pushy. It's my opinion that she still has a lack of confidence that G wants her.

But this seems to be his M.O. - he drops out of sight for a few weeks or a month after the little flirtations with my wife or after telling her he will call her. I believe this frustrates my wife and makes her feel that he is a reluctant participant in her pursuit. Could be he's just being a guy. I always assure her that he would love to take her to bed, but have to admit that his slow pace is drawing my wife's hotwife journey out. Sometimes, I will read or review my blog and have lamented how my wife has seemingly been only 'a day' away or 'an invite up or text' away from having her first lover (with my permission/knowledge).

This blog entry, I guess, is where I get to say that as much as I want to see my wife take a lover and fuck other men, I'm OK with the pace of things...kinda.

What makes this whole journey exciting for me has everything to do with who my wife is - her personality type, her history, her values, etc... What I mean by this is that what turns me on most about all this is the fact that it is about a transformation, an evolution, a transformation, a journey for my wife - for us together as a couple, from a conservative proper wife to a naughty conservative proper wife. The [apparently] slow turning of a wife into a hotwife. While at times the pace of her progress frustrates me, it also provides the kind of slow-burn kind of arousal and anticipation of things to come for her and us.

I mean, what stretch is it for a woman who is predisposed to spontaneous and prolific sex, to sleep with another man. It isn't - It is easy for this type of woman. It isn't so easy for my wife. The excitement for me lies in that stretch for my wife, watching her grow, albeit slowly, incrementally, becoming more and more bold and daring with G, all while knowing that this is all more or less out of character for her to do or be so. (This isn't to say I wouldn't enjoy having a wife who is predisposed to spontaneous and prolific sex with other men within our marriage!...but it would be a different kind of excitement.) I much prefer the turning of a conservative wife. Certainly there are control and domination aspects to my desire to have a Hotwife and Shared-Wife that arouse me. But probably the best term to describe why her journey interests me so is: The metamorphosis.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the apparent 'peaks and valleys' of this blog and journey so far. I reckon that there will be more false starts before my wife and G consumate their relationship. Progress is being made by my wife, although at times it seems or feels imperceptible. Sometimes we argue or fight about the lack thereof. I tell her I am proud of her each time she does make progress, which she finds funny. I do love her and honestly feel that in the end, this will enhance and bring excitement to the sexual side of our marriage.

Hopefully this doesn't sound too melancholy or overly reflective. Just clarifying and reconciling my feelings...