15 February, Thursday - A Silent Drive into Work. It appears to have taken only 87 days for things to revert back to how they were with my wife and I. It was November 18 last year when we sat down and had our conversation about our marriage and more specifically about our sex life. It was that day that we came to agreement, specifically about including others in our bed. The sex we had together for the next 60 days was good - in fact, it was incredible. I watched my wife turn into an unbelievably sexy and lusty woman, we were having sex a couple times a day, oftentimes with her cumming more than once (unusual for her). She would IM me sexy messages, telling me how horny she was, often masturbating for me as she texted me. She would explore explicit websites alone or with me or look at erotic photos or videos we have on the computer. Our conversations would be sexual - she would talk with me about her being shared, she would ask me how I wanted her to be used and given to others. She would make a daily effort to dress sexily and feminine - she looked hot each day.
The only thing that seems to have survived is how she dresses. She still makes an effort to wear sexy clothes and look good, although not as much or as often. We've stalled out.
Our next datenight is two Saturday's from now. I gave her the responsibility to go online and purchase the tickets to a Pleasurezone party. We'll see how that goes.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The Pink Balls
21 January, Sunday - The Pink Balls. Gave my wife some two-fingered anal training this morning. She asked me to pick something out for her to wear inside her pussy today during an outdoor function we would be attending. She said she was going to tell her friend M that she went out with her pussy filled. She was going to tell M how she liked that I would know her pussy was filled as she spoke to and flirted with other men. I told her that the next time she and M went out, for my wife to tell M that she was going to wear a dildo inside her and to invite M to do the same. I want my wife to tell M that it was me who suggested they both go out with their pussies filled. I like the idea of M taking some sexual direction from me, alongside my wife.
My wife wanted to know who I wanted her to talk or flirt with today while she was filled. I gave her the names of a few men who I felt were attracted to her. I chose a pair of small pink rubber weighted balls which she inserted into her pussy and wore all day.
In the end, though, she said they really didn't do anything for her - that she really couldn't feel them or the weights rolling around inside the balls. They went into the garbage.
She did tell me today that she wanted me to find a couple to give her a sensual four-handed massage.
My wife wanted to know who I wanted her to talk or flirt with today while she was filled. I gave her the names of a few men who I felt were attracted to her. I chose a pair of small pink rubber weighted balls which she inserted into her pussy and wore all day.
In the end, though, she said they really didn't do anything for her - that she really couldn't feel them or the weights rolling around inside the balls. They went into the garbage.
She did tell me today that she wanted me to find a couple to give her a sensual four-handed massage.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Faltering
19 January, Friday - A Crack In the Ice. We had a discussion, a tiff over her defiant attitude today and her ignoring me on a sexual matter. We talked about the need for her sexual obedience, her giving up control and trusting me - about her submission. We disagreed about whether or not she was following my instructions - she feels that she has been doing so, while I don't.
We talked about taking the next real steps towards her TRULY becoming a shared wife, towards being owned, completely submitting herself to me with regards to who, when and where she fucks - about her being loaned and shared with other men, women or couples as I desire. I've assured her that I am not attempting to turn her into a whore, but this IS about her becoming a HOTWIFE. She is not ready for this...YET....despite her agreeing to submit to being owned by me at the end of December. It is a very big step, for sure, but she will need to trust in me and know that I will take care of her. It is important for us to be taking consistent, progressive steps towards her submission and being shared.
Erotic massage by a woman or couple seems to be the easiest and most comfortable first step. She enjoyed the massage I gave her on her last birthday - the pretty, petite woman gave her almost two hours of massage before bringing her to orgasm. She likes the idea of a four-handed massage given by an attractive couple; of having her body worked over by two sets of hands.
We talked about taking the next real steps towards her TRULY becoming a shared wife, towards being owned, completely submitting herself to me with regards to who, when and where she fucks - about her being loaned and shared with other men, women or couples as I desire. I've assured her that I am not attempting to turn her into a whore, but this IS about her becoming a HOTWIFE. She is not ready for this...YET....despite her agreeing to submit to being owned by me at the end of December. It is a very big step, for sure, but she will need to trust in me and know that I will take care of her. It is important for us to be taking consistent, progressive steps towards her submission and being shared.
Erotic massage by a woman or couple seems to be the easiest and most comfortable first step. She enjoyed the massage I gave her on her last birthday - the pretty, petite woman gave her almost two hours of massage before bringing her to orgasm. She likes the idea of a four-handed massage given by an attractive couple; of having her body worked over by two sets of hands.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
A Lunchtime Speedfuck
18 January, Thursday. Speedfuck - I love it when my wife pulls the area above her pussy up tight for me when I'm licking her pussy, exposing and stretching her clit and swollen lips. It makes it look so inviting.
My wife came home today at lunchtime for a 'speedfuck'. As I fucked her, I mentioned that an email that came in from one of the male board members, one that she has told me she finds sexually attractive. She had asked him about whether he'd be interested in pairing with her on a project. He had replied affirmatively. She appeared very excited when I told her this, especially when I asked her if she wanted him, 'B', to fuck her. She moaned a "Yes" and started to fuck back enthusiastically. I wanted her to flirt with him, wanted her to seduce him and to allow herself to be seduced by him, to show herself off to him. She was to let him know, subtly or not so subtly that she was a shared wife - that her husband controlled who she fucked and when. I described how it would be when she finally pulled down his shorts for the first time exposing his thickening cock. "Fuck me!" she said as she looked me in the eyes...she came less than a minute later.
I wanted her to go back to work and whisper into a coworkers ear how she had just been fucked by her husband, how she had just had her pussy filled with cum, and how she had just had her pussy licked and sucked. I think she liked this naughty thought, but unfortunately there's no one at work she can do this with...yet.
My wife came home today at lunchtime for a 'speedfuck'. As I fucked her, I mentioned that an email that came in from one of the male board members, one that she has told me she finds sexually attractive. She had asked him about whether he'd be interested in pairing with her on a project. He had replied affirmatively. She appeared very excited when I told her this, especially when I asked her if she wanted him, 'B', to fuck her. She moaned a "Yes" and started to fuck back enthusiastically. I wanted her to flirt with him, wanted her to seduce him and to allow herself to be seduced by him, to show herself off to him. She was to let him know, subtly or not so subtly that she was a shared wife - that her husband controlled who she fucked and when. I described how it would be when she finally pulled down his shorts for the first time exposing his thickening cock. "Fuck me!" she said as she looked me in the eyes...she came less than a minute later.
I wanted her to go back to work and whisper into a coworkers ear how she had just been fucked by her husband, how she had just had her pussy filled with cum, and how she had just had her pussy licked and sucked. I think she liked this naughty thought, but unfortunately there's no one at work she can do this with...yet.
Monday, January 15, 2007
"Looking at eggplants. Any thoughts?"
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Sunday, January 7, 2007
A Rough Night
7 January, Sunday 0530am - A rough night for me. As I told my wife a week ago on datenight, I often think about her unfaithfulness, about her having been with other men sexually since we've been together. Although two of them were when we were just dating, I still think of them as well. I suppose what (still) hurts me most is the accompanying emotional connection that she had with them (at least the 2 that she was with while we were married), the fact that she sought emotional as well as sexual solace/connection with them. I had been thinking about it all night long at work.
I don't purposely attempt to dwell on it, but from time to time the thoughts creep in and are difficult to shake. Past images of my wife - her soon-to-be lover leaning forward to kiss her at the bar, the beginning of her affair; of her making plans with her lover for him to come home with her or for her to go to his house to fuck after work; my wife climbing into the back seat of the car with her ex-boyfriend and crawling on top of him as she grinds her pussy against his leg.
It's the premeditation, the sneaking, the planning of her trysts, the deception - looking me in the eye as if nothing was wrong, the possibility of me having talked to her on the phone just as she was leaving work to get fucked and her knowing this the entire time as she spoke to me, or being greeted by her as I came home from work as if nothing were amiss despite her lover having cum inside or on her pussy not much more than an hour earlier.
The other two men happened when we were just dating, but we were dating. One was someone who was in a karate class she was taking at the time. She didn't know him that well, by her own admission, but the image of her following him into his house knowing she was going to be fucked still bothers me. I actually remember the time around when this happened - we were dating and I guess things were not going well with us, because we made a specific date to go out to dinner to talk about things. After we ordered, she proceeded to tell me that she was falling in love with this 'karate guy'. I will never forget the feeling I felt when I heard those words. I was devastated. She told me it was because he paid attention to her. I was obviously upset and wanted to leave immediately. Our food arrived and I paid the bill, we got up and walked out leaving the food untouched. I don't remember exactly what happened afterwards, but obviously we worked things out. It is only now, many years later, that I realize that she had most likely already fucked him by the time of that conversation. Ow. She told me that it was only once, but it still hurts.
The same goes for her only black lover, whom she also slept with as we were dating. A friend of hers from high school , I can visualize her showing up at his house with the expectation and knowledge that he would soon be mounting her and shoving his black cock inside her pussy. She says she went over to fuck him a 'few times'. I don't know what a 'few times' means really.
She and I have talked about this a few times since she disclosed all this to me in November. Each time she has told me they were all a long time ago and that I should forget about them - but I can't - for me these indiscretions are only little over a month old and still very fresh in my mind. She reassures me that she chose me in the end (and presumably I should be happy), but I sometimes still hurt from what she's done. Hurt AND oddly aroused by it - imagining her being fucked and pleasured by another man while we were together and without my knowledge - taboo and out of character for her (or so I thought). I am most turned on by this thought: that something I had considered to be so 'unlike her' - cheating on her husband - she has done...to me. Three of these men were on 'my watch' - not a happy thought.
This is the same thing that fascinates me about people in general - their outward persona and appearance versus their hidden personality, their sexual dark side. It seems that we never really know people, not even our spouses...not really.
I don't purposely attempt to dwell on it, but from time to time the thoughts creep in and are difficult to shake. Past images of my wife - her soon-to-be lover leaning forward to kiss her at the bar, the beginning of her affair; of her making plans with her lover for him to come home with her or for her to go to his house to fuck after work; my wife climbing into the back seat of the car with her ex-boyfriend and crawling on top of him as she grinds her pussy against his leg.
It's the premeditation, the sneaking, the planning of her trysts, the deception - looking me in the eye as if nothing was wrong, the possibility of me having talked to her on the phone just as she was leaving work to get fucked and her knowing this the entire time as she spoke to me, or being greeted by her as I came home from work as if nothing were amiss despite her lover having cum inside or on her pussy not much more than an hour earlier.
The other two men happened when we were just dating, but we were dating. One was someone who was in a karate class she was taking at the time. She didn't know him that well, by her own admission, but the image of her following him into his house knowing she was going to be fucked still bothers me. I actually remember the time around when this happened - we were dating and I guess things were not going well with us, because we made a specific date to go out to dinner to talk about things. After we ordered, she proceeded to tell me that she was falling in love with this 'karate guy'. I will never forget the feeling I felt when I heard those words. I was devastated. She told me it was because he paid attention to her. I was obviously upset and wanted to leave immediately. Our food arrived and I paid the bill, we got up and walked out leaving the food untouched. I don't remember exactly what happened afterwards, but obviously we worked things out. It is only now, many years later, that I realize that she had most likely already fucked him by the time of that conversation. Ow. She told me that it was only once, but it still hurts.
The same goes for her only black lover, whom she also slept with as we were dating. A friend of hers from high school , I can visualize her showing up at his house with the expectation and knowledge that he would soon be mounting her and shoving his black cock inside her pussy. She says she went over to fuck him a 'few times'. I don't know what a 'few times' means really.
She and I have talked about this a few times since she disclosed all this to me in November. Each time she has told me they were all a long time ago and that I should forget about them - but I can't - for me these indiscretions are only little over a month old and still very fresh in my mind. She reassures me that she chose me in the end (and presumably I should be happy), but I sometimes still hurt from what she's done. Hurt AND oddly aroused by it - imagining her being fucked and pleasured by another man while we were together and without my knowledge - taboo and out of character for her (or so I thought). I am most turned on by this thought: that something I had considered to be so 'unlike her' - cheating on her husband - she has done...to me. Three of these men were on 'my watch' - not a happy thought.
This is the same thing that fascinates me about people in general - their outward persona and appearance versus their hidden personality, their sexual dark side. It seems that we never really know people, not even our spouses...not really.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
"Do you want me to have a lover?"
6th January, Saturday - "It feels like so long since you've played with my pussy". 9:00am I hadn't had her since late Thursday night. Not that long really, but with all the fucking and playing we've been doing lately, it did seem like the distant past to me as well.
She did something different to my cock this morning as we played with each other under the sheets. It felt so good, but I didn't know exactly what she was doing to me. She had never done this before. I imagined that she had learned some new technique from a lover of hers. That it was some trick he had taught my wife that she had brought home to our bed. Of course, she did not have a lover in reality, but asked "Do you want me to have a lover?". We had talked and fantasied a number of times before. I did want it. The thought of her bringing another man into our bed while I was away turns me on immensely. She'd done it before - when she had her affair - her coworker/lover fucking her in our bed while I was working late.
She wanted to have a lover that I sent to her. A lover that I had arranged to fuck and use my wife. He would be known to both of us and I would control both her and her lover. I would just tell her to expect someone and she would be home waiting in anticipation for the doorbell to ring. She wanted to be naked when she answered the door for her lover. I wanted her in heels only. I described another scenario wherein I would leave the front door unlocked and her in bed. I would telephone a lover, tell him I wanted my wife fucked, give him our address and tell him the front door would be unlocked. I would then call my wife and inform her of my arrangement - she would wait in bed, ready to fuck and suck when he arrived. He would enter our home to find my wife naked, wet and spread for him in our bed. She could telephone me as she was with her lover, describing how he was using her, what he was doing to her pussy real time or she could describe how she was fucked after I arrived home.
I wanted her naked in heels and on her knees sucking her lovers cock.soon after he walked in. I visualized his overflowing load of cum dribbling from my wife's mouth. I wanted her lover to fill her pussy with his cum as well. "My lover will cum two times in me then?" she asked rhetorically. "Do you want me to leave his cum in my pussy until you get home?" , "Do you want to fuck my pussy with his cum inside me?" Very hot thoughts both of them. I do like the idea of her leaving her lover's cum inside her and her showing me how much he filled her with. Very naughty. I love the image of my wife being fucked bareback and letting another man cum deep inside her ripe, unprotected pussy.
She wanted to know how many lovers I wanted her to have. I told her I wanted many for her - I wanted her to have a variety of lovers. A stable of hung studs that I could send home to fuck her whenever I wanted to.
As much as her allowing my wife to take a lover(s) without my knowledge or consent turns me on - very naughty and taboo, like her affair was - I am not sure how or if I could deal with it, since in my mind having a lover or an affair, implies a relationship of some sort, likely emotional, over an extended period of time on an ongoing basis. Of course, that is what give it the edginess, the out- of-control excitement - that familiarity with another man, the risk of a relationship developing, the sneaking around, the wife-as-cheater aspect all add to the taboo-ness of it. Arranging lovers for her, controlling the encounters, and dictating the terms is best for us now.
Later this year she'll stop working and starts staying at home during the day, maybe then I'll allow her and arrange for a lover to keep her pussy busy while I am gone.
She did something different to my cock this morning as we played with each other under the sheets. It felt so good, but I didn't know exactly what she was doing to me. She had never done this before. I imagined that she had learned some new technique from a lover of hers. That it was some trick he had taught my wife that she had brought home to our bed. Of course, she did not have a lover in reality, but asked "Do you want me to have a lover?". We had talked and fantasied a number of times before. I did want it. The thought of her bringing another man into our bed while I was away turns me on immensely. She'd done it before - when she had her affair - her coworker/lover fucking her in our bed while I was working late.
She wanted to have a lover that I sent to her. A lover that I had arranged to fuck and use my wife. He would be known to both of us and I would control both her and her lover. I would just tell her to expect someone and she would be home waiting in anticipation for the doorbell to ring. She wanted to be naked when she answered the door for her lover. I wanted her in heels only. I described another scenario wherein I would leave the front door unlocked and her in bed. I would telephone a lover, tell him I wanted my wife fucked, give him our address and tell him the front door would be unlocked. I would then call my wife and inform her of my arrangement - she would wait in bed, ready to fuck and suck when he arrived. He would enter our home to find my wife naked, wet and spread for him in our bed. She could telephone me as she was with her lover, describing how he was using her, what he was doing to her pussy real time or she could describe how she was fucked after I arrived home.
I wanted her naked in heels and on her knees sucking her lovers cock.soon after he walked in. I visualized his overflowing load of cum dribbling from my wife's mouth. I wanted her lover to fill her pussy with his cum as well. "My lover will cum two times in me then?" she asked rhetorically. "Do you want me to leave his cum in my pussy until you get home?" , "Do you want to fuck my pussy with his cum inside me?" Very hot thoughts both of them. I do like the idea of her leaving her lover's cum inside her and her showing me how much he filled her with. Very naughty. I love the image of my wife being fucked bareback and letting another man cum deep inside her ripe, unprotected pussy.
She wanted to know how many lovers I wanted her to have. I told her I wanted many for her - I wanted her to have a variety of lovers. A stable of hung studs that I could send home to fuck her whenever I wanted to.
As much as her allowing my wife to take a lover(s) without my knowledge or consent turns me on - very naughty and taboo, like her affair was - I am not sure how or if I could deal with it, since in my mind having a lover or an affair, implies a relationship of some sort, likely emotional, over an extended period of time on an ongoing basis. Of course, that is what give it the edginess, the out- of-control excitement - that familiarity with another man, the risk of a relationship developing, the sneaking around, the wife-as-cheater aspect all add to the taboo-ness of it. Arranging lovers for her, controlling the encounters, and dictating the terms is best for us now.
Later this year she'll stop working and starts staying at home during the day, maybe then I'll allow her and arrange for a lover to keep her pussy busy while I am gone.
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